You know that feeling when you’re about to go on vacation and you’ve been counting down the days for a good month and the day is finally here!?
You brush the dust off your suitcase and you’re packing it full of all your cutest clothes; those fun wedges you’ve only worn twice, your big beach hat, and the maxi dress that’s been sitting in your closet all winter season.
You know that feeling when you get to the airport and the rush of excitement hits you as you think of all the adventures you’re about to go on, things you’re going to see and relaxation you’re going to do!
As I was packing to go back home this weekend, I felt this sadness that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was our first official trip back home (not including the time we came back for our wedding because that was crazy busy) and I felt guilty for not really wanting to go. I felt sad that I wouldn’t have 7 off days at my house with my hubs and the dogs. We wouldn’t get to spend lazy days in the backyard tending to our garden, trying a new restaurant or taking a trip to the beach.
I noticed Leonard was in a mood too and when I asked him if everything was okay, he told me that he felt sad about leaving, too.
We had a wonderful visit, though! We took a trip to Chicago, just me and him, and walked around the city taking it all in. We ate at all of our favorite restaurants (Giordano’s Pizza, Tate’s, Furin, and Mazamitla’s). We got to see tons of our family which was wonderful! We got to celebrate my mother-in-law graduating nursing school. And we got to see some of our close friends. Overall, we had a great time and were so thankful we went!
It also helped me realize a few things. For starters, I truly feel like we made the best decision for us. Before we left, a year ago, we were filled with a lot of negative energy from people we considered our friends and even our family. It was taking a toll on us mentally. We’re pretty positive people but we were filled with so much negativity. Ever since we moved to Tampa, I feel like my head is much more clear and I truly feel the happiest I’ve ever been. After a few days back at home, we started feeling that negative energy and it started consuming us all over again. I feel like I could never reach my full potential or be who I’m meant to be there. I also realized that people we use to invest our time and energy into, did not even acknowledge we were home. When we moved, it was hard adjusting to meeting new friends and trying to maintain friendships back at home. Sometimes, in life, we need an eye opening experience to help us realize that we’ve grown apart from people and we have to let them go because they were never even holding on to us to begin with.
As we got dropped back off at Midway, I couldn’t help but feel that rush of excitement hit me. I felt like I was going on vacation and then I realized my vacation is the same place I consider home. That’s how I know I’ve found where I’m meant to be.